Hey Beautiful!
Hmmm. . . can girls and guys be friends? Well, you might get different answers on that depending on who you ask.
Of course, I'm not talking about five-year-olds here, but, I guess . . . adolescents and young adults--pre-teens and older.
Though different people have different ideas about this, my ultimate authority is the Bible, and I don't recall ever reading in the Bible that girls and guys can not be friends. And then there's my own life experience. I've always had guys as friends for whom I had no feelings or intentions but friendship.
Not to mention that a more serious male-female relationship (the kind that leads to marriage) is bound to be more successful if it is built on a foundation of friendship.
So, sure, girls can be friends with guys, as long as the authority figures of both parties approve.
The other question that ought to be asked, though, is should girls and guys be friends?
There's a lot in the Bible about this because, though it doesn't forbid male-female friendships (that I'm aware of), it gives us some important guidelines for choosing friends and who we will hang out with, and these apply to people, whichever gender.
Consider the following when deciding whether or not to befriend any guy:
- Does he have your best interest at heart, or is he only looking out for himself?
- Does he have good moral character, or might he encourage you down the wrong path?
- Does he cause you to think about important things and to strengthen your own character?
- Is he kind to you?
- Is he loyal to you?
- Do your parents/guardians approve of the friendship?
Every friend you choose (male or female) might not have the same exact beliefs you do, but that doesn't necessarily mean they can't be trusted. On the other hand, someone who seems really "nice" at first might eventually show their true colors--that they aren't trustworthy. It takes time to really know how sincerely a person cares about you and the level of trust you can place in them.
It's wise to be careful!
Another thing to consider is whether or not the guy has more than friendship on his mind toward you. If you are interested in him strictly as friends, you don't want to lead him on by spending time with him without explaining that friendship is all you're willing to offer.
Lastly, let's talk about whether or not it's a good idea to be alone with a guy friend, a true friend whom you know you can trust. There are some situations where this question can be answered quickly and easily. For instance, if a lady is married to someone else, it's just not appropriate (in probably 99.99% of cases) for her to be meeting another guy to hang out alone, even if they're truly just friends. Now, I'm not basing this on a commandment in the Bible (that I'm aware of) specifically addressing this. But the Bible does tell us to be careful, to always have our guard up, to not cause others to stumble, etc. It's just not appropriate.
If a girl is in a committed relationship with a guy or engaged, it's probably not the best idea, either. Once again, I can't cite chapter and verse on this, but it's important to think it through, pray about it, and be honest with yourself about how you feel the Lord is leading you.
If there's not a committed relationship to think about, whether or not to hang out with a guy friend alone is going to depend on two things. First is parent/guardian permission. Without that, just forget the idea. It's not worth it! This is real life, not the movies where everything works out for the best when a girl follows her heart no matter what her parents say. Real life is rarely that romantic.
Secondly, if you do have permission, be sure to pray and search your own heart. If you feel uneasy or unsafe in any way, it's likely not time yet to spend time alone with this particular guy friend. It's better to stay with groups until you're sure than to regret time spent alone with someone who isn't who you thought he was.
Friendships offer much to be enjoyed, but that doesn't mean we can cruise through with no cares and just hope for the best. And, as with any relationship, we need to make sure we are trustworthy and a good friend, too!
INNER BEAUTY NUGGET:
OUTER BEAUTY TIP:
This time of year, it's extra important to moisturize the lips. There are so many lip balms out there, at all different price points. Here's a video I came across by HollieEatsLipstick (I love that name!). She has collected tons of brands, and she lets us know what's available and talks about her opinion of some of them. This is the only video of hers I have seen, but she was fun to watch and listen to. Enjoy! :)
Can't see the video? Click here.
Smile!
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